African men deserve to be heard.

Sexual violence happens to men and boys in every country, community and background across Africa, and it is often hidden because of stigma. It can include rape, coercion, unwanted touching and sexual exploitation.

Many men who were abused as boys were told to keep it secret, or were not believed when they tried to speak. Abuse in childhood can affect sleep, school, relationships, work and how a person feels about his body for many years.

Men can be sexually assaulted as adults by partners, strangers, colleagues, employers or people they trust. Many do not report because they fear they will not be believed or will be laughed at.

Sexual violence can happen inside marriages, dating relationships and other partnerships. Any sexual activity without freely given, ongoing consent is abuse, whatever the relationship between the people involved.

Expectations that men must be strong, silent and always in control can make it very hard to speak about sexual violence. Some men fear losing respect from family, friends or community, or being told they are less of a man.

Trauma is the way the mind and body respond to an experience that overwhelmed them. Reactions vary widely and can include anxiety, low mood, anger, numbness, nightmares, flashbacks or difficulty trusting people.

Many survivors feel ashamed or believe they should have stopped what happened. Shame tells a person to hide, but responsibility for abuse rests with the person who caused the harm.

Healthy masculinity can include honesty about pain, asking for help and caring for oneself. Emotional vulnerability is a skill that can be practised, not a flaw in character.

Consent means a clear, freely given yes that can be withdrawn at any time. A person who is asleep, drunk, drugged, afraid, pressured or dependent on someone cannot give valid consent.

Believe him, and tell him clearly that what happened was not his fault. Do not press for details, and let him decide what to share and when.

Healing is possible, and it rarely follows a straight line. It often involves safe people, trauma-informed counselling, support groups and time to rebuild trust in one’s body and relationships.

Unaddressed trauma does not automatically make someone abusive, but unresolved pain can sometimes contribute to harmful behaviour and unhealthy relationships. Healing, honest accountability and early support can interrupt these patterns for the survivor and for the people around him.